Stiff ghoul aroused - The Mummy Reviews

Brendan Fraser has another run-in with some "gods and monsters" in Universal Pictures' first attempt to remake one of their 1930s horror classics. Fraser is an Indiana Jones-like treasure hunter and convict, enlisted by a bumbling researcher (Rachel Weisz) to go looking for the ancient City of the Dead. The two end-up battling a reanimated MUMMY (Arnold Vosloo); a cross between Robocop and The Terminator -- but, without their love for mankind. Part RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981), part PREDATOR (1987), and part ARMAGEDDON (1998), THE MUMMY is one mish-mosh of a movie. Although only mildly entertaining in its own right, the movie is a gas for all its hokey inconsistencies. There are lots of...bugs. The *second* most notable species are scarab beetles, one of the ten plagues unleashed by the ancient Imhotep (Vosloo). Even more predominant are the countless glitches and discrepancies that make THE MUMMY so...yummy. Let's start with the bugs. They're everywhere. Imhotep is buried in a sarcophagus full of them. Someone explains that they eat flesh very slowly, over many years. Later, a swarm of them envelops a guy and devours him instantaneously. John Hannah, who was charming in SLIDING DOORS (1997), plays a fast-talking comic foil. In one scene, a huge scarab beetle digs into his hand, and travels under his skin up to his shoulder. In the next scene, Hannah sports a bandaged forearm. But, in no time, he's hanging off the wing of a plane -- in flight! -- and fighting-off mummified armies without apparent injury. THE MUMMY is, in many respects, like a cartoon. It is, by definition, a horror film -- but, not particularly horrible. There's lots of comedy -- but, it's not terribly funny. As in a cartoon, things happen without consequence -- like Hannah's miraculously-healing arm. In one scene, it rains fire over Cairo. In subsequent scenes, there is no fire damage, anywhere. There's no depiction of widespread panic and, most bafflingly, no explanation of why we never heard of the Great Cairo Fire of 1923, since the movie is set in the past! The dialogue is classic: EVELYN: I may not be an explorer. I may not be an adventurer. But, I'm proud of what I am. RICK: And what is that, exactly? EVELYN: I'm a librarian! My favorite line was one in which someone mentions Hamunaptra, the ancient City of the Dead. Another character replies, "Are we talking about *the* Hamunaptra?" He acts as if everybody knows Hamunaptra, but goes on to describe it in the type of elaborate detail normally reserved for an unknown quantity. The equivalent would be if someone said, 'Elvis Presley? You mean THE Elvis Presley -- the 20th Century American popular singer of 'Hound Dog' with gyrating hip action?' You gotta love that. (Carlos Colorado)